One is the Loneliest Number
by Analyse Dare
Summary: After breaking off her engagement to Stewart and getting rejected by Dylan during 4x21, Brenda becomes severely depressed. Can a special someone pull her out of it before the depression consumes her? BxD hints of DxD & BxK. Read to find out more.
1. Chapter 1

Hi…Analyse here back with another story. Don't worry I will still be writing A.N.T.R. , but I've been so distracted lately I have to write these other stories to focus. LOL This story takes place during episode 4x21 aka PALM SPRINGS 2.0! It's pretty easy to follow, but I do add my own twist to the episode to make it fit my story line. Drop a review and let me know what you think! As usual I don't own 90210 or take credit for any of the characters. Enjoy!

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Brenda clutched the payphone tightly as she waited for the line to connect. Palm Springs was as gorgeous as she remembered, but after watching Stewart argue with his father in the middle of the resort, the only thing Brenda desired at this point was to leave. She looked around at the resort and saw all the people passing by her with smiles on their faces. Couples were everywhere walking arm and arm with the ones they loved, Brenda sighed longing to be one of those couples.

Finally she heard the ringing stop and someone get on the line. Brenda's joy was short lived as she heard Dylan answer the phone. "Dylan." She said after getting over her surprise, "Hi. Is Kelly there?"

"Sorry Bren she's not here. She's at a power lunch in with your brother." She heard Dylan respond.

Brenda closed her eyes, remembering that her brother had mentioned something about a task force lunch earlier in the week, "I guess that's why he didn't pick up his phone either." Brenda said starting to panic. She had no idea how she was going to make the two hour trip back home with only twenty dollars to her name.

"Something wrong Bren? Can I help?"

"No." she answered too quickly, "I was just hoping Kelly could come get me. I guess I'm kind of stranded."

"That's okay. Just tell me where you're at and I'll come."

"It's not quite that simple." She countered.

"Bren it's not a problem."

"Listen. I'll just take the bus forget that I called." She said moving to hang up the phone. She stopped when she heard his voice call out.

"Would you stop it already? Just tell me where you're at and I'll jump in the car and come get you."

Brenda leaned against the phone booth and weighed her options. She knew going back in and groveling to the Carson was not going to happen. She looked around again and was surprised at the lack of couples waltzing around the resort. Brenda noticed the sun was setting and it was bound to start getting dark soon. If she didn't accept Dylan's offer she would be stranded two hours from home with no money and no place to stay.

"Brenda." She heard him call out again, "Where are you?"

"Palm Springs." She answered afraid of his response.

She heard him let out a big sigh before agreeing to come and get her. After the call ended Brenda stared at the phone in disbelief. One minute she was asking him not to come and the next she was accepting his offer. How had she agreed to let Dylan McKay be her knight in shining armor once again? She hung up the pay phone and made her way to the curb. Brenda tossed her bag on the ground and sat down beside it, hoping the two hour wait would go by quickly. She ran her hand over the soft grass and sighed before pulling out a book from her purse. This weekend was not turning out the way she expected at all.

Half way through her novel she heard a car horn blare. She looked up from her book to see the familiar black Porsche easing into a parking spot across from her. She saw Dylan get out of his car and stand beside it waiting for her to come over.

Brenda threw her book back into her purse and gathered up her belongings. She gripped her overnight bag tightly and made her way to Dylan. She saw him looking around the resort before setting his gaze on her.

He offered her a small wave and a grin before reaching out to take her bag. Their hands brushed momentarily and Dylan looked down at the contact. He noticed her left hand was bare, which immediately set off warning bells in his head. The outrageous sparking engagement ring that had become a permanent fixture on her finger was gone. Confused he asked, "Where's Stewart? "

Brenda pulled her hand back and looked down at the mention of her ex-fiances name, surprisingly not ready to talk about it. She avoided eye contact as she made her way to the passenger's side of the car, "I don't know and I don't care." Without saying another word she opened the door and got in.

After a few seconds she heard the trunk open and close and then the driver's side door opened revealing Dylan. Brenda didn't say anything as he started the car and drove them away from the resort.

She looked in the rear view mirror half expecting to see Stewart chasing after the car begging for her not go and to come back. She let out a sigh of disappointment as they turned out of the resort and she realized he wasn't coming.

Brenda turned to look at Dylan, "Thanks for coming to my rescue." She said breaking the ice and forcing herself to start the conversation.

"Yeah, if I can't do it who can?" Dylan answered keeping his focus on the road.

"Good question" she said looking down at her hands that were resting on her legs. She thought about what Dylan had just said. Other than her parents, who did she have in her life that was there for her?

Brandon's face flashed in her mind briefly, but she shook her head at the thought. Ever since she came back from Minnesota there was a distance between them she couldn't explain. If she was being honest with herself, she was feeling that same distance with everyone from their high school gang.

It was her loneliness that drove her to straight into the arms of Stewart Carson. _'What a mistake.'_ She thought as she rubbed at the skin on her left hand gently, reflecting on how empty her finger looked without the ring. Her hand had felt lighter the second she ripped the ring off her finger and threw it back at Stewart.

At first it was so exhilarating being with Stewart Carson. He was sociable and funny, which was a welcome change from the constantly brooding from her last relationship. They would spend all night dancing and laughing, getting swept up in each other and the excitement of a new romance. He would spoil her with his constant displays of affection and gifts he would randomly send her. But like any man, Stewart had his flaws and his bad ones definitely outweighed the good.

She let out another sigh as she thought about his harsh words and behavior from the other night in the hotel. She couldn't help but think the lightness she was feeling might have something to do with kicking Stewart and his spoiled ass to the curb. Now that she was free of Stewart she was right back where she started, miserable and alone.

"I don't suppose you want to talk about it." Dylan said after he heard her sigh for the fourth time since they had gotten into the car.

"It was supposed to be a romantic weekend with Stewart." She confessed looking out the window, "But I ended up seeing a side of him I've never seen before."

"Remember when we went to Baja and I made that little mistake."

She turned away from the window to look at Dylan and smiled, knowing how much she was underplaying the seriousness of her screw up. She laughed when she heard him snort, "Little mistake Bren? You left your passport and we were stuck at the border for hours."

Brenda smiled remembering the trip, "No matter how bad things got, you were so understanding. We were able to put it behind us… even laugh about it. We ended up having a great time."

Dylan looked away from the road and offered Bren a big smile, "Yeah…yeah we did." Brenda's smile faltered at the intensity of his smile, for a moment it was like they were back in the car on the way back from Baja.

She took a breath before admitting, "Stewart can't do that. I goofed and he couldn't let it go. It got pretty ugly…it is definitely over between us."

Brenda looked down upset, "Why is it that I can't keep any relationship going since I broke up with you?

Dylan was quite for a moment before answering, "I guess you just have to find the right guy."

Brenda looked over at Dylan and starred at him. "I had the right guy and then I lost him." She confessed in a soft voice, "I've never really gotten over you Dylan…how am I supposed to find the right guy when I'm still in love with you?"

Silenced filled the car, Dylan cleared his throat trying to think of a way to let her down. He looked at her for a moment before focusing his attention back on the road, "Bren."

"I know…I know" Brenda said cutting him off, already knowing what his answer would be. She could feel the embarrassment spread all over her body and immediately regretted even saying anything. She was thankful it was dark out or else Dylan would have seen her cheeks flush bright red at his rejection. The tears came so quickly she had to turn her head and look out the window in fear they would escape down her cheeks. She flipped her hair in an attempt to shield her face from his view.

"It's not that I don't love you." she heard him say softy.

"You're just not in love with me." She answered for him in a shaky whisper. Brenda could feel her throat tighten and her heart rate sped up, all too familiar signs of the melt down that was about to happen.

Still looking out the window Brenda decided to backtrack in an attempt to save face, "Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself over the whole Stewart thing." She paused to clear the lump in her throat before adding, "I'm glad were still friends."

A tear escaped down her cheek and onto her lap at the word friends. She didn't dare move or take her eyes off the window as she spoke to Dylan, not wanting to see her tears. She dug her nails deep into her palms to try and keep from crying out.

"So am I." She heard him agree.

Dylan had taken his hand off the wheel and extended it out to her, wanting to feel her skin against his. After a few seconds he looked over, surprised not to feel her return the gesture. Dylan saw she was turned away from him facing, almost her entire body was the window. Brenda was squeezing her fists so tight they were turning white from the pressure. He sighed as he struggled to see her face, but judging by her body language he guessed she was crying.

As he drew his hand back, a part of him had hoped she would feel the weight of his stare meet his gaze. He wanted to say something else, anything else, but the words escaped him when he heard her sniffle. Confirming his suspicions she was indeed crying.

Dylan stole another look at Brenda before looking back at the road. He had promised himself after that day in the park that he wouldn't do a single thing hurt to her any more than he already had. Now without even trying he had made things between them worse. They didn't speak again until Dylan had taken the exit, bringing them back to Beverly Hills.

They were stopped a light not far from the beach house when Dylan had an idea. "You know David is having a little get together right now at the apartment." Dylan said trying to lighten the mood, "He's re-christening the place now that he lives there. Want to head over with me?"

Brenda didn't bother move she kept her head firmly against the window. She was still too embarrassed to face him or now confess that she didn't even know David was moving into the beach apartment. For a second she thought about accepting his offer, but quickly changed her mind. She couldn't bear to see him and Kelly all over each other after he had just turned her down.

"Can you just take me home?" She replied in a dejected tone Dylan hadn't heard her use before, "I'm not feeling too well and I wouldn't want to spoil anyone's good time."

Dylan nodded and didn't say anything as he signaled to turn the car in the direction towards the Walsh house. He couldn't help but steal glances at her for the rest of the short ride, not knowing what to say to make things right between them. Before Dylan could come up with something he was turning onto the familiar street and up the drive way bringing their drive to an end.

He heard her let out a sigh of relief and click off her seat belt practically ready to jump from the car. Dylan tried one last time to convince her to come with him and go to the party.

"Are you sure you won't come to David's with me? Everyone's been asking to see you, and it will be just like old times with the gang."

Brenda turned to give him a look, offended at his blatant lie. She didn't speak, but her eyes were filed with a sadness Dylan hadn't seen since that day in the park. "Nobody wants me there." Brenda said in a low shaky voice, "Nobody ever wants me."

Brenda couldn't help the tear that fell from her eye as she looked at Dylan. Why couldn't he just love her the way she loved him. She didn't say another word as he opened the door and got out of the car.

She heard him call her name as she was walking towards the house. She turned around and looked at him blankly giving him her full attention waiting for him to speak, but the side door opening momentarily distracted her.

Brenda stood frozen as she watched her parents walk towards the garage and to the trash bins. They didn't see her, but Brenda had a clear view of them. Her father was waving his free hand around and telling some story to Cindy, which had her bent over in a fit of laughter. Brenda watched her father lift open the trash can and remove the bags out of Cindy's hands first before throwing away his own away.

Brenda had always loved the type of relationship her parents had, she cherished it more after moving to Beverly Hills. She saw first-hand how greed and wealth could taint a relationship. Brenda considered herself lucky to have two parents who loved and respected each other, regardless of wealth. Even if it was something as trivial as taking out the trash they did it together as a team. It was that sort of unwavering devotion Brenda longed for and so desperately wanted it for herself.

"Brenda!" Cindy had exclaimed in surprise after noticing her daughter standing in the driveway beside Dylan's car. Cindy noticed something was off about her, but didn't choose to comment, "We weren't expecting you back until Sunday. Did you know she was coming Jim?" she said looking at her husband and back at her daughter.

Jim grabbed his wife's hand and directed them over to where Brenda was standing, "No, I didn't. I'm just has surprised as you are." He said answering Cindy before talking to Brenda, "You got here just in time bunny fish were just about to play a round of cards and we'd love it if you'd join us."

Brenda didn't know if it was the familiar nickname her father used or the long day finally catching up with her, but she found herself running towards her father and launching herself into her arms.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked as she started to cry in his arms.

The tears she had tried to hold back all weekend were spilling out and over her cheeks. She was now sobbing loudly onto her father's sweater covering the thin material with her wet tears. She could feel her father hold her tighter and rub small circles on her back trying to calm her down.

At this point, Dylan had gotten out of the car and retrieved her bag from the trunk. He was gripping her forgotten overnight bag in his hand with a sad expression on his face. Dylan stood somberly near the hood of his car unable to take his eyes off of Brenda crying.

Jim and Cindy shared a look as they glanced between the teens trying to figure out what was going on. Brenda had left Palm Springs with Stewart and now less than 48 hours later she was home curtsey of Dylan McKay. Hearing Brenda's cries get louder, Jim motioned to Cindy he was going to take Brenda back in the house.

Cindy stood silent with Dylan as they watched Mr. Walsh coax Brenda inside. Dylan could tell he was whispering something in her ear, but was too far away to hear. He could only watch helplessly, as the door closed behind them.

Suddenly finding his nerve, Dylan walked over to Cindy to deliver Brenda's bag. He was still starring longingly at the closed door before he stopped and stood beside her.

"Hi." Dylan said unable to make eye contact with Mrs. Walsh. He extended his hand passing Brenda's bag and stole another glance at the closed front door.

"I take it Palm Springs didn't turn out the way Brenda had planned." Cindy asked him now holding Brenda's bag.

"You could say that." Dylan answered feeling ashamed. He couldn't confess the whole truth about their trip to her. Cindy Walsh had proven to Dylan time and time again, he could rely on her if times got tough. Cindy was one of the only female figures in his life that was there for him and showed him what a mother's unconditional love should be. Dylan found it difficult to confess to her, he was the reason for her daughter's tears not Stewart.

Cindy raised her eyebrow at his vague answer and nodded her head, "Well thank you Dylan. Jim and I appreciate you getting Brenda home safely." Cindy said making her way to the house. She turned to give him one last look and a smile before disappearing inside.

Dylan walked over to the car and sat down in the driver's seat. He angrily hit the wheel a few times trying to calm down. He had never felt so helpless before in his he wanted to do was be there for Brenda, but he didn't know how to do it without upsetting her further.

Frustrated, Dylan ran a hand through his hair and started the car. There wasn't anything else he could do tonight. He looked at the clock and realized he was late to the party and let out a few curses. As he eased down the drive way and onto the street there was only one thought looping through his mind…he officially _hated_ Palm Springs.

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Well there you go! I think writing depressed Brenda is going to be my new favorite challenge. Drop a review if you want me to continue! Feedback and suggestions are always welcome


	2. Chapter 2

I'm back! And I'm so so so so so so so so sooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry for the long delay. Thanks for all your sweet reviews and PM to light the fire under my butt and get this chapter posted. I'm working on new stories as well as A.N.T.R. (I'm almost done with that so expect that chapter soon) As usual I won nothing about 90210 and the characters all belong to who they belong to ;)

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The wooden steps creaked as Dylan made his way up the stairs towards Kelly and Donna's new beach apartment. He spent the short ride there in silence thinking about Brenda and what had just happened between them. After reaching the top of the steps, Dylan could faintly hear the sound of music coming from an apartment at the end of the deck. Guessing it was Kelly's place, he steered in that direction. With every step he took the guiltier he suddenly became. Dylan lingered at the door for a moment before knocking, he felt wrong being there knowing Brenda was home so upset.

He was hit suddenly with memories of the times Brenda had offered him a shoulder to lean on when he was upset or down. Even when their relationship was at its worse, she pushed her feelings aside and was there for him. Dylan found it hard to believe when the roles were reversed, he chose to leave her and go off to some party.

His mind was screaming at him to leave and drive straight to the Walsh house, on the off chance she calmed down and wanted to talk to him. He stepped back from the door, fishing his keys from his back pocket, but before he could walk away the door opened.

"Mckayyy!" an intoxicated Steve loudly yelled, "Get in here Bro."

Dylan found himself getting dragged into the apartment by Steve. The blonde threw his arm around him, effectively trapping Dylan to his side. He gagged at the smell of stale beer was coming off of Steve and pushed him away. .

"Let's get you a drink." Steve slurred unfazed walking ahead of him. Dylan took the chance to look around and observe the new apartment. David and Donna were tinkering on the piano that was set up in the corner of the room. Andrea looked to be making herself a plate of the cheese and crackers that were left out, talking to Steve who was still in the kitchen.

Kelly was sitting on the couch laughing with Brandon. Judging by their clothes they must have come straight from the party. He observed them for a moment, noticing right away how close they were sitting next to each other. Kelly had her hand resting near his on the sofa, Dylan watched as she slowly inched her hand towards Brandon's. Right before they could touch, Dylan cleared his throat getting her attention.

"Things look cozy over here." He greeted in a dry tone, "I take it the Chancellors went well."

"It was pretty terrific day if I say so myself." Brandon answered for them, unfazed by Dylan's implications. "Your girlfriend was a real asset to the team, monopolized my main target the whole night. Everyone was truly impressed."

Kelly flushed at the praise, suddenly shy, "I did not."

"Oh, yes you did." Brandon teased getting up from the sofa, "And you loved every minute of it. Well I need a refill… you want something while I'm up?"

"I'm good thanks Bran." Kelly answered standing up next to him and didn't move until Brandon walked into the kitchen. Once he was out of her sight Kelly looked at Dylan and finally moved to stand next to him. She slid her arms around his waist and started to kiss along his neck, ready to give him a proper hello after their long weekend apart. Her lips were just about to hit his when Dylan unexpectedly dodged her advances and turned his head.

"Give it a rest Kel." Dylan muttered pushing her away and stepping away from her. He couldn't even think about doing that when his night with Brenda was still weighing heavily on his mind.

"What?" she snapped, offended, "I haven't seen you all weekend and now you don't even want to kiss me?! Good to know I was missed Dylan."

Dylan rolled his eyes and held back a chuckle, "Yeah you looked just miserable when I walked in."

Brandon decided to walk over and join them again. He cracked open his soda and took a swig, not commenting on the tension that was now building between the two. Brandon decided to strike up a conversation to help relieve the obvious fight that was brewing.

"So, D what took you so long to get here? Get lost?" Brandon joked taking another sip of his drink.

Dylan smiled at his friend and responded, "I, uh, had to go out of town, took me longer to get back then expected."

"Where were you coming from?" Kelly interjected in a frosty tone crossing her arms. She didn't know Dylan had left Beverly Hills and was not very happy to be finding out.

Dylan scratched the back of his neck he had hoped to avoid this conversation for as long as possible. He looked down. Taking a breath before muttering, "Palm Springs."

Kelly and Brandon both exchanged a look between them. Lately they had found themselves communicating without speaking, letting their eyes do the talking. Kelly broke eye contact with Brandon first, suddenly embarrassed. They both knew who was visiting Palm Springs for the weekend.

The Dylan continued to stare at the floor unsure if he should disclose any more of the details without talking to Brenda first. The three of them stood in the living room awkwardly until they were interrupted by Donna.

"Kel, I need you." Donna said pulling on her arm and leading her to the kitchen, "Steve is like an empty pit, he already demolished half the food my parents bought us!"

Dylan let his eyes linger on the carpet until he heard their footsteps disappear. He looked up and instantly made direct eye contact with Brandon. He looked away quickly at first, but somehow his eyes found their way back to his friends. He hated when he got that judgmental, yet caring gaze it reminded him of getting scolded as a child. Both Brenda and Brandon had the ability to get him to spill his guts with just a glance and he hated it.

Brandon took another sip of his soda before clearing his throat, "So how was the drive?"

"Tense." Dylan responded shortly not wanting to get into it.

"Well you're dealing with a Walsh" Brandon joked, "I wouldn't expect anything less."

Dylan raised his eyebrows at Brandon's candor he kept his expression neutral until they both broke out in grins. It was hard for things to stay tense between them being friends for so long.

"But all jokes aside, what happened man?"

Dylan sighed and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, "I don't know B. I really don't.. She called the house earlier looking for you or Kelly to come and get her from Palm Springs. So I offered to take the drive and go down there and get her. So after I make it down there I find her sitting in the dark on the side of the road, Stewie nowhere in sight."

Brandon lowered his soda can, "Wait, she was by herself?"

Nodding Dylan responded, "Yeah and she wasn't wearing her ring either. I'm pretty sure she called it off."

"What?" Brandon said loudly drawing the attention of half the room. Brandon offered everyone a fake smile before grabbing Dylan's arm and pulling him outside. Dylan didn't say anything and allowed himself to get dragged to the deck. He leaned against the railing as Brandon paced nervously in front of him.

"She told you the engagement was off." Brandon verified after stopping in front of Dylan. He didn't answer, deciding rather to shake his head in agreement.

"And you're sure she was wearing no ring?" Brandon rattled off again, double checking he knew the whole story before jumping to conclusions.

"No ring." Dylan answered softly, looking out at the ocean.

Brandon didn't say anything for a few moments and joined Dylan looking out at the water. He took a few deep breaths trying to figure out how he had missed all this. To the best of his knowledge his sister was happy with Stewart.

"You know when it comes to Brenda these days I don't have a clue what's going on in her head." Brandon confessed, "I haven't been the best at paying attention lately, this task force has monopolized all of my time."

"Well it's a big commitment." Dylan said trying to be understanding, "A huge opportunity for you."

"Yeah I guess." Brandon said brushing him off, "If I'm honest with you things haven't been the same between us since she came back from her stint at MU, hell, things haven't been the same between us for a long time."

Dylan looked over at Brandon surprised he hadn't noticed a change between the twins. Sure he was caught up with his own drama this past year, but if Brandon was commenting on it, something must have changed between them.

"She just seems so distant. It's like I don't know who she is anymore." Brandon said again drawing Dylan's attention, "Did she mention anything else to you? Even if it's trivial I need to know D."

Brandon looked over at Dylan after his lack of response. Ashamed, Dylan picked at the wood which was fraying from the banister. Brandon could tell there was something Dylan wasn't telling him and decided to press further.

"What else aren't you telling me?" Brandon asked.

Dylan took a breath, hesitant to answer him. "I don't know if she would want-."

"Dylan." Brandon snapped cutting him off. Dylan looked over sharply at the tone of Brandon's voice, immediately halting his picking. "I haven't asked much of you before now. I've stood by you and our friendship even when you dragged it through the mud, but now I'm asking Dylan. I need you to tell me. So what is it? Me? School? Our parents?"

"No." Dylan answered. He knew there was truth in what his best friend was saying. The rift between them was his fault, he cheated on his best friend's sister with her best friend, and it was a mess. He couldn't blame Brandon for being loyal to Brenda, "It's not about you guys."

"Then what is it about?" Brandon yelled exasperated, he pushed off the railing and stood in front of his friend.

"Me." He whispered, "It was about me. She told me she was still in love with me and I…"

Brandon nodded his head turned away from Dylan and resuming his place against the railing. "Let me guess you didn't feel the same?"

"It's not that I don't love her." He answered quickly trailing off, "I'm just…"

Brandon held up his hand, effectively silencing him and didn't answer him for a while. "You don't have to go into all that. I'm just trying to figure out why Brenda would call off an engagement she was hell bent on seeing through."

Dylan didn't say anything in response for he was just as lost as Brandon. The boys stood there in silence unsure how to move forward.

"Well is there anything else I should know?" Brandon asked already regretting asking the question. He felt a headache building as he dug into his pocket and pulled out his keys, he needed to go home and check on his sister.

Dylan let out a deep breath, "She was crying when I dropped her off. She just burst into tears and ran inside." He admitted, embarrassed by his actions. Repeating then night's events back to Brandon was making it painfully obvious he made the wrong choice in dropping her off and leaving. Judging by the silent treatment he was getting from Brandon, Dylan assumed he felt the same.

Brandon was too shocked to say anything. He looked over at his best friend who was avoiding his eye contact _again_. Brandon observed his friend closely, he couldn't figure out what it was about Dylan that drove everyone around him crazy. Sure he had money and a cool car, but he was selfish and self-centered ninety percent of the time, Brandon found it hard to believe he could be so desirable with so many flaws. Brandon shook his head, half disappointed in the way Dylan handled things and also because deep down he knew how upset Brenda was right now, she never took rejection too well.

The sound of the apartment door opening broke the spell of silence that had taken over the deck. He saw Kelly approaching the two of them.

"You guys have been out here a while." She commented swinging her hands back and forth in front of her, unaware of the conversation that had just taken place.

"Sorry about that Kel, sports and stuff you know how guy talk goes." Brandon said quickly not giving Dylan a chance to speak. He shot his friend a glare and hoped he wouldn't be so open about the night's events with the others.

Kelly smiled, "Well come back in. Steve, surprise, surprise is hogging all the snacks." She said rolling her eyes and grabbing Dylan's hand to lead them back inside. She turned to face Brandon when she didn't hear his footsteps following, "Well aren't you coming Brandon? I made sure Steve didn't touch the pretzels I know they're you're favorite."

"That was nice of you Kelly, but I need to be heading home." Brandon responded still near the railing.

"So soon!" Kelly cried, surprised at his abrupt departure and walked back towards him, "But you just got here, I mean we haven't even got to listen to David's new song."

"Kel if he has to go why you don't let him and stop harping on him." Dylan interjected in same icy tone she had used on him earlier. She turned to glare at Dylan hoping her stare would shut him up. On most nights it would have worked, but tonight he refused to back down and held her gaze, both challenging each other without speaking.

"I have a family thing to take care of." Brandon said noticing the glares they were shooting at each other. Choosing to be the bigger man, Brandon surprised himself when he reached out to shake Dylan's hand. No matter what transpired after the ride between him and his sister, Dylan did make the two hour trip to rescue his stranded sister, "Thank you man for getting her home okay."

"Forget about it." Dylan responded shaking his hand in return. The boys exchanged one final look before Brandon kissed Kelly on the cheek in goodbye and walked down the steps. Kelly watched Brandon until his body got farther and farther away, disappeared completely into the night.

"So you guys stood out here and gossiped about Brenda all night? Why am I not surprised?" She asked with an attitude while turning around to look at him. She raised her eyebrow in an unspoken gesture, her jealously flaring again.

Dylan couldn't hold back his eye roll as she crossed her arms across her chest, a sign she was now full on pouting. He had enough theatrics for one night and he wasn't about to spend another moment arguing about something that didn't even concern her.

"You know what Kel…it is really none of your business." Dylan said making his way to the stairs, not bothering to turn around and talk to her.

"None of my business?! Are you joking right now Dylan?" Kelly said following him, her voice getting sharper and louder with each passing word, "You're my boyfriend and Brandon's one of our best friends so of course I want to know what's going on!?"

"Oh, Brandon's your best friend?" Dylan mocked facing her at the top of the steps, "I thought there was another Walsh that held that title or did you forget about her like you did this summer?"

Kelly opened her mouth to speak, but Dylan beat her to it already fed up with dealing with her, "I'm done with this conversation, I gotta get out of here. But I tell you what Kel, you ever feel the need to run off and be Brandon's task force girlfriend again by my guest and go. Maybe you'd get the point and stop bothering me."

Dylan didn't wait around for her response as he almost ran in the direction of his car. He could hear her screaming his name as he bolted down the steps and to his porsche. After opening the door he sat in the driver seat for a few moments before turning on the engine and speeding away.

He could still smell Brenda's perfume lingering in the car, it was making his head spin. The smell was so strong that if he shut his eyes for too long his mind would start to imagine she was still beside him in the car. He stepped on the gas and singled for his car to merge into the turning lane. He just missed the green light and had to wait until the light turned from its red setting. While waiting Dylan was unsure where to go, if he turned right he would be on his way home, but if he turned left he would be at the Walsh's.

His thoughts from earlier were back with a vengeance and the voices in his mind were all unanimously screaming for him to go to her. _'What if she was more upset than she let on? What If she never wanted to talk to him again?_ , Dylan thought as he sat at the light still debating on what to do. The car behind him pressed on their horn loudly, anxious to get going. Dylan looked up and noticed for the first time the light had changed and was now green.

The car blared again after Dylan realized he still wasn't moving, "Okay! I'm going!" he yelled pressing on the gas and making the familiar turn in the direction of his home. "I'm going." He muttered dejectedly as he drove the few miles to his house. He pulled into the drive way and killed the engine, as he went to exit a flash of gold caught his eye. He leaned over and grasped the item that was wedged between the door and the seat.

His breath caught as he realized what he was holding in his hand. This must have been what Brenda was clutching onto so tightly during the ride. He traced over the jagged edges of the broken half of the heart necklace that was lying in his hand. Dylan closed his hand around the heart letting the metal dig into his palm, he couldn't believe after everything she still wore it. He knew what this represented for them as a couple and he still remembered the way her eyes lit up when he watched her open it for the first time. He sat back in his seat still holding onto the heart, comparing the look in her eyes that day versus the empty look he got from her earlier tonight. It was like a different person.

"Dammit Bren." He whispered closing his eyes, "What have I done?"

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Well there it is! Hope you guys liked it. As always I love feedback so drop a review and tell me what ya think! Next chapter is definitely going to be FULL of Brenda so look forward to that. Till next time A.D.


	3. Chapter 3

Brenda rolled her eyes and ignored the light knocking at her bedroom door. She buried her head deeper into her pillow and tried to blocked out the tapping sound. She smiled when it stopped and attempted to go back to sleep, but sat up scowling when it continued moments later.

She hadn't left her room since her unexpected return on from Palm Springs on Friday. Brenda held up her left hand and starred at it. No ring, no wedding, no relationship. Normally, she would have been able to put the whole Stewart situation behind her and move on, but now she found herself clinging to the heartbreak.

"Brenda." She heard her mom call out before cracking her door and letting herself in. Brenda didn't bother to lift her head as her mom made her way over to the bed and sat down next to her.

"Good morning sweetheart." Cindy softly said brushing Brenda's hair away from her face, "I made breakfast downstairs. Are you hungry? I can even bring it up here to your room if you like….whatever you want."

Brenda gave a weak grin at her mother's obvious attempts to please her, but found it difficult to hold up the fake smile. "No thanks mom." Brenda whispered, "I'm not hungry and still not feeling very well… I think I'm going to try and go back to sleep."

Brenda avoided eye contact with her mother and pulled at a lone string on her pillow. She had told he parents she was feeling sick so she could be left alone all weekend. But now, she knew if she looked up at her mother she would crumble under her mother's caring gaze and confess how she was really feeling. The conversation was at a standstill and Cindy was the first to break the awkward silence with a loud sigh, Brenda could tell her mother was disappointed.

"Well we are just downstairs if you'd like to join us...whenever you are ready." Cindy said patting her back. She had a move to leave when Brenda's hand shot out grabbing her wrist and halting her movements.

Brenda tried to smile, but knew it probably looked like a shaky frown, "I'm trying to move past all this, I really am, but it's just so hard."

Cindy sat back down and grasped Brenda's hand, "I know you are and I know how hard this all must be. You are strong, smart girl with so much ahead of you. You'll get through this."

Brenda nodded trying to believe in the words her mother had said, but her insecurities were making it impossible. Cindy patted her hand before getting up and walking out of her room, back downstairs.

She pushed the covers off her body and slid out of bed. At this point trying to go back to sleep was useless. Brenda groaned as she stretched her sore muscles and walked over to her vanity and looked in the mirror. She spent the entire weekend crying and laying in bed.

Even though she spent the entire weekend practically sleeping she still dark circles present under her eyes. Her usual bouncy hair was flat and limp around her face, and her eyes didn't hold their usual sparkle.

Brenda continued to stare at her reflection trying to figure out who was staring back at her. Long gone was the small town girl from Minnesota and in her place was someone she didn't recognize. Brenda shook her head and headed back into bed, there was no way she was going to campus looking the way she was. She sighed and snuggled back under her covers, trying to remember what it felt like to feel happiness again.

Wrapped up in her blankets, Brenda looked out of her window and watched some of the animal's scurrying about in the backyard. She watched the sunshine raiding off of the leaves and let out sigh, maybe in a few hours things wouldn't look so glum.

Meanwhile downstairs, Brandon was stirring his uneaten cereal around in his bowl. The frosted flakes had long turned to mush, making it uneatable. Brandon grimaced and pushed his bowl away, letting the spoon drop noisily into the dish.

Jim folded the ear of his paper to look over at his son, raising his eyebrow in a silent question.

"Sorry." Brandon muttered as his father returned to his paper.

Things in the Walsh house had been tense over the past few days. After he had returned home from the Beach House last night, he was greeted by to the sight of his parents on the front porch speaking quietly to one another. He barely got out a hello, before he was instructed to go straight upstairs, to his room, and to not disturb Brenda.

Defiant as always, Brandon waited until his parents had fallen asleep and tried to sneak into Brenda's room, but was surprised to discover the door was locked. He had tried to strike up conversations with Brenda several times over the weekend, but the blank look in her eyes discouraged him after a few failed attempts.

Brandon took another glace at the bowl in front of him before getting up and placing it in the kitchen sink. Just as he turned to leave the kitchen, there was a soft knock at the back door.

"I got it." Brandon called racing over to the tried to mask his surprise and failed when he discovered Dylan casually leaning against the door.

Brandon looked over his friend from head to toe. His friend was lacking his usual polished rebel without a care attitude. It looked like he had hadn't slept in days, judging by the bags under his eyes. The clothes he wore appeared to be rumpled almost like he hadn't changed from the night before.

"Sorry little girl, we don't want any Girl Scout cookies." Brandon joked, moving to close the door.

At the last minute he grabbed Dylan by his arm and pulling him inside. They exchanged and a handshake before Brandon gestured Dylan towards the kitchen island to sit down.

"This is a surprise. What's the occasion?" Brandon asked.

"Oh you know a little of this and a little of that." Dylan replied vaguely, not wanting to tell Brandon the real reason for his visit… to talk to Brenda. He was unsure if she would even talk to him, but he had spent the entire weekend in agony thinking about her. He had tried calling the house a few times, but hung up before the call connected, losing his nerve.

The boys chatted about nothing for a few moments before they heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Dylan held his tried to listen to the Task Force story Brandon was telling, but he was distracted by the footsteps. His palms suddenly grew hot and he wiped them casually on his jeans. He didn't know where this cowardice was coming from, but when it came to Brenda, he found himself more often than not reverting to his nine year old self, too afraid of rejection too express his real feelings.

Dylan tapped his foot in anticipation, getting the attention of Mr. Walsh. He smiled weakly and looked around the room trying not to be too obvious, still half listening to Brandon. The footsteps got louder as they descended last few steps and rounded the corner.

Oblivious to her surroundings, Cindy entered the kitchen and headed straight to the table sitting next to her husband.

"Any luck?" Dylan heard Jim ask her after a few moments of silence. She didn't answer her husband, but the disappointed look on her face answered the question.

Jim let out a deep sigh and focused his attention on his wife. She was fiddling with the napkin rearranging the creases in different patterns.

"I'm just worried. She just shut locked herself in that room and won't say more than a few words to me."

"Give her time sweetheart." Jim told his wife squeezing her hand in a supportive gesture, "If Brenda has taught us anything over the years it is that she marches to the beat of her own drum."

Cindy nodded in agreement, but still looked upset.

"Besides." Jim said returning to his paper, "I also recall a certain someone locking themselves away in their room for an entire week back in college. What was her name again? Cathy? Connie?"

Cindy huffed indignantly and swatted playful at Jim who blocked her with his paper, "Oh stop it Jim it was not a whole week." She chuckled remembering how dramatic everything seemed when you are young and in love.

"Oh really?" Jim challenged laughing at his wife's sudden lapse in memory, "Well both you and Brenda share a flare for the dramatics….you know better than most that sometimes all you need solitude to work out your problems."

She nodded and kissed Jim lovingly on the cheek. She picked up his now empty breakfast plate and headed to the sink. Cindy froze mid stride, noticing Dylan and Brandon sitting at the island.

"Oh." Cindy gasped in surprise nearly dropping the full plate, "I didn't know you here Dylan, I didn't hear the doorbell ring."

"He came through the back door Mom." Brandon answered, "I'm just gonna head up stairs and grab by books. Then we can head into campus D."

Cindy shot a look at her husband, hoping he would say something to dissuade their son, but Brandon was half way up the stairs and Jim was focused again on the morning paper. Cindy huffed and started to do the dishes, scrubbing the plates in the sink with a tense look on her face. An awkward silence swept over the kitchen.

Dylan didn't know what to do or say, he had never been on the receiving end of an upset Cindy Walsh before. Jim closed his paper and looked around the kitchen curiously trying to figure out what had caused the silence to take over the room. He saw his wife re-cleaning a spot less plate, not engaging Dylan in conversation like she usually did. Standing up, Jim abandoned his paper and walked to where his wife was still scrubbing, plucking the plate out of her hand and giving her a knowing look.

"So, Dylan how are you adjusting to college life?" Jim asked drying off the clean plate.

Dylan nodded, "Things are well, classes are cool, so I can't complain. I uh…really stopped by this morning hoping to maybe get a chance to talk to Brenda."

Both Jim and Cindy stopped cleaning the dishes, unsure how to answer. Brenda had explicitly said she didn't want to see anyone after returning from Palm Springs.

"I don't think that's the best idea right now." Cindy said dropping the sponge into the water. Without another word she left the kitchen and walked outside. Both Dylan and Jim could see her pacing from the kitchen window, a habit both Brandon and Brenda had inherited from her.

Jim offered Dylan an apologetic smile, wordlessly trying to apologize for his wife. "Brenda isn't up for visitors right now, but I'm sure Brandon will tell her you stopped by." Jim threw in trying to make up for Cindy's hostility.

He excused himself and went to join his wife outside.

As Brandon re-entered the kitchen he noticed Dylan was now sitting alone in the kitchen with a worried expression on his face. He glanced out of the window and saw his parents huddled together talking about something. He guessed Brenda.

Brandon walked over to Dylan, "Don't worry about whatever that is….things have been tense around here. You headed to campus? We can ride together?"

Dylan nodded, but couldn't find the words to answer. He was still glued to Jim and Cindy's movements outside. If Cindy was this upset he could only imagine how Brenda was feeling.

A loud thump coming from upstairs distracted the boys momentarily. At the sound of glass breaking Brandon took off up the stairs, not bothering to explain where he was going. He was surprised to hear the padding of footsteps behind him, confirming Dylan was following him.

After another thud came from within, Brandon burst open her bedroom door. He walked in slowly, surprised to see the mess that had taken over the room.

Clothes were everywhere. Brenda's dresser was pushed out against the wall and the mirror that used to rest against it, was now sitting on the floor broken into pieces. Brandon hesitantly stepped over the glass and walked towards Brenda who was rummaging through her dresser drawers, still in her pajamas.

"Hey." Brandon called, "What's going on? It's almost ten, aren't you going to be late for class?"

"Brenda…hello." Brandon called again, trying to get her attention.

Brenda looked up surprised, "Oh, Brandon, sorry. I didn't hear you come in."

Brenda continued to dig through her drawers, mumbling something under her breath. Frustrated, she slammed the open drawer shut and moved to sift through the overnight bag sitting on her desk.

"What's going on Bren?" Brandon asked, watching her pick up the bag she just finished looking through and tossed it at the wall.

Brenda dropped to the floor and lifted her bed skirt reaching underneath and feeling around, "I can't find it."

Brandon had to duck to avoid the sweater that was flying towards his face. He picked it up after it landed on the ground and folded it neatly onto a nearby chair.

"Find what?"

"My necklace! It's gone!" she cried popping up from under the bed. Brenda tore off her comforter and started to pull her sheets off her bed, shaking them out, looking for her item.

"Well what about one of these to wear instead?" he suggested trying to be helpful, pulling out some necklaces from her jewelry box, "I'm sure one of these will look great with whatever you decide to wear."

"Thanks Brandon, but I-"

"But what Brenda? These are all nice enough." Brandon said cutting her off realizing the time.

He let out a growl after realizing how late it had become, "Come on Bren! Choose one! Its 10:15, I can't be late to my meeting with the chancellor because I stayed to help you look for some dumb necklace."

Brandon regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. He watched his sister's facial expression drop and her eyes start to get glossy.

It wasn't just some dumb necklace it as Brandon put it, she thought, it was her heart necklace from Dylan.

Even though they were broken up she still wore the necklace discreetly under her clothes. Whenever she was feeling panicked or overwhelmed she would grab onto the necklace and it would instantly calm her, sort of like Dylan used to.

After her mother left, she discovered the gold necklace she wore was broken and her half of the gold heart was missing. She started to panic, unable to remeber the last time she felt the jagged metal against her skin.

"I should have known better than to bother you Mr. Task force with my dumb problems." She spat out, turning away from him.

Before she knew it the tears she was holding back from this morning had started to flow down her cheeks. What was wrong with her? She tried to distract herself by sorting through the dirty clothes on the floor, but still continued to cry.

"Brenda." Brandon sighed walked towards her, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. Let me help you look around."

Brenda avoided him again and moved so she was standing next her desk with her back to her brother. She was trying to hold her feelings inside and not let him see her cry.

"Come on Brenda! Do you have to be so damn dramatic all the time?" Brandon snapped again rolling his eyes.

"Get out!" She yelled, turning around so he could see she was crying, "Just leave me alone. Don't waste any more of your precious time here helping your loser sister with her dumb problems."

Brenda at this point was unable to hold back her sobs and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Brandon stared at the closed door in shock, wondering what just happened. He didn't not expect her to blow up the way she did. He knocked a few times, but was met with muffled sniffles and silence. Brandon rested his head against the door.

"Bren." Brandon tried again, knocking softly, "Look I'm sorry. I'm just stressed about this meeting and I took it out on you. Just come out so we can talk. Please. "

Dylan had moved from his spot from the hall to stand in the doorway of Brenda's room. He watched Brandon knock a few more times on the bathroom door.

"Fine, Brenda, be that way." Brandon said turning around, pausing at Dylan who was now standing in the door frame of Brenda's room. He shrugged his shoulders in defeat, walking past him muttering something about going downstairs.

Dylan shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped quietly into the room. He knew there was only one necklace that would cause her to be this upset.

He could feel the cool metal against his fingertips as he pulled out Brenda's half of the heart pendant out of his pocket. He had been wearing it around since he found it in his car. He let it rest in his palm for a few moments before slipping the pendant onto her dresser, moving it around so it appeared almost hidden beneath the other items.

Dylan knew how much the charm meant to Brenda, it meant just as much to him. He still had his in the back of his wallet, taped to an AA chip.

He heard the bathroom door jiggle slightly and he darted out of the room and back to his hiding spot in the hall. He could hear her footsteps walking back into the room and towards her vanity where he placed the pendant.

He heard her shuffle items around for a few moments before she let out a surprised gasp and squeal, verifying she found it.

Dylan felt the smile splitting his face as he walked down the steps and back to the kitchen where Brandon was waiting for him. He knew the pendant wasn't going to fix everything, but it at least for now it made her smile.

Dylan stuffed his hands in his pocket and met up with Dylan in the foyer. "Let's go man." He said clapping Brandon on the back, "Ill drive."


	4. Chapter 4

Is anyone there? Sorry for the lack of update, but my life was pretty crazy over the past few months. Finally getting back into writing so look forward to new chapters. As usual I don't own 90210 or take credit for any of the characters. Enjoy!

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Dylan eyes scanned over the dimly light room as he took a sip from his water bottle. There were a million places he'd rather be then the Keg party Steve and his frat brothers were throwing. Kelly had dragged him to the party after one of their infamous arguments and then proceeded to dump him the minute they walked into the door for some girls in her sorority.

The walls of the keg house were shaking from loud music the DJ was playing. Dylan let out a sigh of annoyance after being bumped by another drunken college kid. He brushed off their sorry with a hard glare and made his way to the nearest exit. "Screw this." he muttered to himself walking towards the door. He was about to leave door when a familiar brown mane of hair caught his eye.

It had been a couple weeks since he had last seen Brenda. The last time was after he returned her heart pendant in secret to her. He wasn't sure if she was ignoring him, but every time he was at the Walsh house or the peach pit, she wasn't and not seeing her was driving him crazy.

Brenda was leaning up against the corner wall giggling with a red solo cup secured tightly in her hand. Dylan felt his eyes lift in surprise. He had never seen Brenda drunk before. She was swaying back and forth, almost to the point she was falling over. The only reason she was standing was due to John Sears holding her upright.

Dylan felt his blood start to boil, he truly hated that guy. He hated seeing Brenda with any other guy, but there was something about John that didn't sit right with him. Every time Dylan saw John around campus he was either scamming on some unsuspecting girl or getting drunk with his frat buddies. The KEG brothers walked around campus like there were God's gift to the school. Dylan shook his head in disgust as John leaned forward and whispered something into Brenda's ear.

Dylan pushed himself from his post by the door and back into the party, deciding to stay and watch Brenda for a while. He didn't know what it was, but he had a bad feeling.

"Dylan!" Steve shouted out catching Dylan's attention. Dylan broke his gaze from Brenda and turned to see Steve walking towards him arm-in-arm with another one of his frat buddies. He couldn't remember the other boys name… some sort of animal, he thought as the boys stumbled over from across the room. They were both clearly intoxicated. Wearing the usual frat boy uniform of KEG polo's, khakis and tennis shoes.

"I didn't know you were coming tonight bro. Brandon will be sad he missed this party. I mean the great Dylan McKay at a kegger." Steve announced loudly holding up his drink in a mock toast. He was so drunk that some beer spilled over the rim barely missing his own shoes, but splashing all over his friend's.

"Sanders!" the other guy, Moose, bellowed, "Watch out man, way too early to be that sloppy! You keep going at that pace and you won't get any action from the ladies tonight."

The two boys shared a look of disbelief before they started to crack up with laughter. As if being too drunk would stop them from getting some action. They clinked their cups together, letting out some KEG chant and downed the rest of their drinks.

Dylan cleared his throat and looked away quickly so they didn't see him roll his eyes in annoyance. He couldn't believe Brandon was seriously considering joining this joke of a fraternity.

"Oh look over there Steve, Sears's special serum strikes again." Moose said loudly while burping. He pointed his cup towards the stairs as Dylan turned to catch John pull a stumbling Brenda up the stairs, disappearing down the hallway.

"Special serum?" Dylan heard himself ask, not taking his eyes off of the stairs. His heart started to thump wildly in his chest, this couldn't be good.

"You know man, a little beer, a little barcadi, and half of a roofie to make the girls parrtyyy." Moose said laughing throwing his cup to the ground, "Whoever that girl is, she's got a one way ticket to pound town on the Sears train tonight. Am I right or am I right Steve-o?"

Without another word Dylan darted off towards the steps. He dropped his water bottle along the way pushing his way through the packed crowd. He could hear Steve calling his name, but he ignored him rushing faster up the stairs.

"Brenda." He called out into the dark hallway. There were bedroom doors lining either side of the dimly lit hallway. Dylan could feel himself start to panic. He took a deep breath trying to keep his head, but he had no idea where to start. All the doors seemed to look the same.

Dylan turned to see a group of burners standing at the top of the stairs. The seemed to be passing around a pipe, giggling at the sensations of the drugs they were taking.

"Hey have you seen a girl come up here?" He asked, "Brown hair? She came up with Sears a couple minutes ago?"

The group of people stared blankly at him, too messed up to answer. Luckily one of the guys pointed down the hallway, stumbling a little after losing his balance. Dylan didn't bother to say thank you as he rushed down the hallway, "Brenda" he called out again, louder this time.

He noticed to his left one of the doors was slightly cracked. He walked closer to the door and put his ear to the crack, hoping to hear who was inside. He heard some movement and a bed creaking, almost like someone was pushed down on the bed.

"No, stop." he heard Brenda say through the door, her voice sounded slurred and muffled, "stop please."

"Shhh its okay." He heard John reply, "I'll make you feel real good baby don't you worry."

Dylan heard the sound of a belt unfastening and hit the floor with a clank. Dylan didn't hesitate to slam the door open and walk into the room.

"Hey!" John called out not bothering to turn around, "this room is occupied."

Dylan saw red as he looked at Brenda who was sprawled out topless on the bed. She still had on her on pants, thank God, but John was still pawing all over her reaching down trying to undo the snap of her jeans.

"Get the fuck off her." Dylan growled, crossing the room in two large strides and threw John into the closet. John hit the closet with a slam, cracking the wood under his weight. He sat on the floor, gripping his head, disoriented for a moment.

"What the hell McKay?!" John cried out after realizing who it was that tossed him. He stood up quickly and zipped up his pants, "What's your problem? Get out of here."

Dylan's hands were shaking as he tried to button up Brenda's blouse. She wasn't moving and barely could keep her eyes open. She opened her mouth to speak, but only a groan came out.

"I'm here Bren." He whispered to her, brushing her cheek. Brenda continued to mutter incoherently into the pillow, closing her eyes, finally succumbing to the flunitrazepam. Dylan got her shirt closed and leaned forward to scoop her up in his arms.

"What's going on in here?" He heard Steve ask. Dylan glanced over at the door to see Steve, Moose and a couple other frat guys huddled around the door frame, coming inside. The noticed the closet door hanging off its hinges and Brenda wrapped tightly in Dylan's arms.

"Not a thing guys." John stammered out trying to come up with a story. He glanced between Steve and Dylan nervously, knowing they had history. "I mean, I'm hooking up with this chick and McKay just storms through the door like some crazy person and throws me into the closet!"

"Hooking up?" Dylan yelled cutting him off, "Look at her man! She's so wrecked she can't even keep her eyes open!"

"So what McKay? She's was it. I mean she was practically begging for it downstairs." John spat running a hand through his hair. He breathed out trying not to let his emotions show. Truth be told, John was nervous, scared even. Over the past few weeks he had had gotten into little spats with Dylan over that blonde girl Kelly Taylor, but he had never seen Dylan this enraged before. He took a step back at the dark look in Dylan's eyes.

John gulped and looked over towards Steve for help, "Dude, Steve, you believe me right brother? You know me. She wanted it."

Dylan and Steve locked eyes. Steve broke away from Dylan's intense stare and looked around at the expectant eyes of his KEG brothers surrounding him. Sure he was a freshmen and still rushing, but he was practically a part of the frat. And the frat had a code, brotherhood over everything. Steve was a little drunk, but knew this wasn't right. Brenda wasn't that type of girl, he just didn't know how to say it and keep face with the frat.

"Well, I don't know…" Steve stuttered out not knowing how to answer.

"Are you kidding me right now Steve?" Dylan burst out cutting Steve off, "Like you even have to question it? This is Brenda were talking about here…your best friends little sister. Someone you've known since high school. I can't believe you man."

Dylan walked towards the door with Brenda still in his arms. He was about to walk through the door when he felt Johns hand grip his forearm.

"Just where do you think you're going." John said pulling him back into the room to face him. Dylan shifted Brenda's weight so he could brush off John's grasp.

"We are leaving. " He answered looking around, "and I dare one of you to stop me. I'm sure campus police would love to hear all about this special serum making its way around campus curtsey of the KEG house."

Instantly John took a step back and lifted up his hands in defeat, "Come on now McKay be cool man. We were just trying to have a little fun."

"Fun?" Dylan yelled, "Does it look like she's having fun to you?"

The group of KEG brothers were silent as the observed the situation. Brenda was passed out cold on Dylan's shoulder. Her breaths were shallow and she didn't open her eyes. John didn't say anything to Dylan, but shot him a nasty look.

He looked into the eyes of his brothers standing around him, feeling their looks of judgment and quickly realized the odds were not in his favor.

"This dude is wacked guys. I mean the bitch wanted it… let's just forget about it and go back to the party."

John quickly walked towards Dylan who was standing near the exit. He bumped shoulders with him roughly, causing Dylan to almost loose his grip on Brenda and drop her. Before he could make it through the door, Steve stepped forward and punched John square in the face.

The whole room winced out the sound of crunching bone, as John to fell gripping his nose. Steve didn't hesitate to jump on top of him and start wailing on him. Some of the guys let out gasps in surprise as they moved towards Steve trying to get him off of John. "What the fuck Sanders?" John cried out gripping his nose, trying to stop the bleeding.

Dylan and Steve shared a look before Dylan walked out of the room. He could hear voices yelling behind him, but he didn't care to stick around and listen. He adjusted Brenda in his arms and continued down the steps.

He could feel people staring at him as he walked out of the party and out into the street. He walked down the block looking for his car. He let out a sigh of relief as he saw his car was still parked and undamaged where he left it.

He slowly walked towards the car and was able to fish his keys out of his pocket. Managing not to disturb Brenda, who was still passed out in his arms. He fastened her into the seatbelt and got her situated in the passenger's seat before he made his way over to the driver's side. Dylan was about to turn on the engine when suddenly Brenda shot up and placed her hand over her mouth. She started to dry heave and Dylan quickly realized what was about to happen. Dylan leaned over, undoing her seat belt and opened the passenger's side door. Brenda turned her head and proceeded to throw up on the street.

Dylan winced and reached over, pulling her hair back so it wouldn't get mixed in with the throw up. She vomited for a while and then finally stopped, plopping back into the seat and passed out again. Dylan waited to see if she would move again and after ten minutes went by he thought it was safe to move.

He drove them back to his house in silence. He didn't move to turn on the radio in fear of waking her up. She was still sleeping and luckily hadn't gotten sick again. Dylan racked his brain trying to think of the other side effects for flunitrazepam. The Moose guy said she only got half a pill, he hoped the effects would wear off soon.

Dylan eased the car into his driveway and turned off the engine. Dylan gripped the steering wheel tightly, finally letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He glanced over at Brenda and sighed.

She was still out cold. Now snoring softly and drooling out of the side of her mouth. He chucked lowly and wiped it gently from her face. How she got him into these scenarios he'd never know, but he was grateful he was there to protect her and even more thankful he entered the room when he did. He quickly got out of the car and made his way to the passenger's side, opening her door.

He was silent as he opened his front door and went inside, heading straight for his bedroom. The house was still dark, he didn't bother turning on the lights.

He finally made it to the bed and plopped down, trying to catch his breath. He felt like he had been carrying Brenda for hours. He sniffed and realized the smell of throw up was quickly filling the room. He glanced down at her shirt and realized she had gotten sick on herself.

He quickly removed her clothes trying his best not to linger or look. He'd be just as bad as that creep John if he did. He grabbed one of his large tee shirts from his dresser and slipped it over her head.

Brenda's head lulled back onto his shoulder at the shift of weight. Dylan watched as she blinked a couple times trying to fight off the drug that was making her sleepy. Dylan reached forward and brushed away some stray hairs that had fallen on her face. She blinked a few times, finally coherent enough to focus.

"Hi." She smiled after realizing it was Dylan.

"Hi." He whispered back.

She let out a sigh and snuggled deeper into his hold, getting more comfortable. Dylan closed his eyes allowing himself to get swept up in her touch.

"This is my favorite dream." She whispered suddenly, breaking the silence. Dylan looked down surprised and opened his mouth to answer, but before he knew it, she was out cold again.

Dylan shook his head and moved her so she was lying in the middle of his bed. He removed himself from her grasp and pulled the covers all around her, making sure she was snuggled in tight.

He grabbed his trash can and set it beside the bed, just in case she got sick again during the night. He walked around the room quietly grabbing his night clothes and a spare pillow for his night on the futon.

He walked into the living room, grabbing a spare blanket off the chair. He made his way around the room, pulling his blinds closed and double checked that he locked his front door. The last thing either one of them needed was someone barging into his house unannounced.

He laid down on the futon, making himself comfortable. Leaning against the pillows and closed his eyes, thinking about what Brenda said earlier. He smiled for a moment before nodding off to sleep. It was his favorite dream too.

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Well there you go! Drop a review if you want me to continue! Feedback and suggestions are always welcome


	5. Chapter 5

*blows dust off of notes and computer screen*. Hello to anyone out there. First off, THANK YOU! I don't deserve such loyal reviewers after all this time. So sorry for the wait. I have no excuse, but I recently got back into the site and saw how many stories I had still sitting as incomplete and decided to do something about it. I mean after all this time yall deserve an update. This was posted as two chapters, but I like the flow of one chapter vs. two.

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 **The next morning…**

Dylan picked at a loose thread on the couch wondering if Brenda was awake in the other room. He stared longingly at the door, trying to will it to open with his gaze. He tossed and turned the entire night, too afraid to really fall asleep off just in case Brenda woke up and needed him. Dylan ran his hands over his face and sat up throwing the covers off, _'What a night'_ he thought walking towards the kitchen.

A figure out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He peered through the glass and noticed someone walking up his front steps. He quickly walked over to the door and started to unlock it, not bothering to check who was on the other side, for fear the knocking would wake up Brenda.

Dylan came face to face with a surprised Kelly, whose hand was raised in the air, poised to knock. Dylan quickly pushed her back, away from the door and closing it behind him.

He leaned against the closed door and crossed his arms over his chest. Neither of them said anything, waiting for the other to make the first move. Dylan let out a annoyed sigh and ran a hand through his hair, might as well get this over with..."What's up Kel?".

"What's up Kel?" she parroted back at him , "Are you kidding me right now Dylan? What's up Kel? What happened to you last night?"

Dylan looked at his feet before glancing up at Kelly's face. By now the whole campus must have been buzzing over the brawl between Steve and Sears. Kelly's breaths were slowly getting faster. He opened his mouth to speak, but she quickly cut him off.

"Everyone is talking about how you left with Brenda last night. What happened? Is she here? Is that why we are outside? You don't want your precious Brenda to hear us?"

"Look Kelly, things got really crazy last night. Brenda needed me and I didn't have time to look for you and tell you what was going on. I'm sorry I didn't call." Dylan said trying to make it up to her.

Kelly let out a breath and placed her hands on her hips, "Ugh save your sorry's Dylan. It's always an excuse with you. Why aren't you answering me? Is Brenda here?"

Dylan rolled his eyes and let his head fall back, trying to calm his raising temper. It was barely eight in the morning and Kelly was here guns blazing, ready to have a full blown fight.

"You know what Kel. I don't want to argue with you. What are you even doing here?" Dylan asked shortly, trying to stop a fight before it started.

Kelly bit her lip and looked at Dylan. He looked pissed and she did not want him to spin this around on her. She deserved an explanation.

"Is it such a crime to want to see my boyfriend? I was worried about you after you took off last night, believe it or not. Why aren't you answering my question? Is she here or not?"

Dylan locked his eyes with Kelly and looked her over, still not answering her question. Kelly was pouting at this point. Her hands were resting on the top of her hips and her lips pursed together in a tight line. Even when she was pissed she was stunning. He couldn't deny his raw attraction to Kelly. She was easy and fun to be around. He could spend hours listening to her cute baby laugh and kissing her pouty lips, but damn could she get jealous. A total stranger could look at him a way she didn't like and she'd be pissed off about it for days.

"Why do I get the feeling you already know the answer to your question?" Dylan answered pushing against the closed door and walking closer to her. He slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close, "Kelly, I don't want to play games with you."

Kelly pushed against his grip and took a step back, "You run off with your ex-girlfriend last night and I'm the one playing games?"

"Oh God, here we go again!" Dylan exploded running a hand through his hair, "Why do you keep grinding that axe Kel? She's my friend, my best friend, nothing more. She's your friend too in case you forgot."

"Yeah I know how that song goes." Kelly answered cooly crossing her arms. "I'll ask you again…what happened last night? Did you sleep with her?"

"So that's why you're here. You put on this little show, popping up here pretending to be concerned about me, but you really here to see if I'm sleeping with someone else. God, Kelly, grow up."

"Don't." she said sharply jabbing her finger into his chest, "Don't you dare try to turn this around on me like I'm being irrational. I'm not crazy here Dylan."

"You're right. You're not crazy; you're just acting like a psycho."

Dylan's head spun to the side from the force of the slap. He was expecting that after calling her a crazy, she hated that. He brought a hand to his cheek and moved it around, popping his jaw a few times. He started to chuckle in disbelief. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her hand flash out to strike him again and he caught it before he made contact, "Okay. ENOUGH. This has gone too far. Are you done hitting me?"

"I don't know. Are you done trying to making a fool of me?" She retorted.

"Come off it Kel. How do you always take situations and make them about you? Remember why you are here Kelly…Brenda was attacked last night. You haven't even asked about how she is…not once. You can come over here to ask if me if I fucked her last night, but you can't be bothered to ask if she's okay."

Dylan took a step back and let out a breath, "I blew up my life for you Kelly. I hurt people, good people that trusted in me, for you and our relationship and still after everything, you still can't trust me. You resent anyone or anything that takes my attention away from you for more than two seconds. You accuse me of deceiving you when I've never lied to you about what I want, not once Kelly. I've tried to show you how much I care, but you still don't see and I can't take it anymore. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me."

"I do trust you." Kelly answered her voice small. "I just can't help it Dylan. I like you so much it just makes me do crazy things."

"Well I can't do this anymore." He said looking at her. "I'm sorry Kelly it's just too much…too much drama, too much pressure. I'm sorry, but I think we should split."

Kelly felt the tears build in her eyes but she blinked them away, deep down she knew he was right, but she didn't come over here to break up. If she was honest with herself, all they really ever did was fight and fuck each other. She was exhausted with it all to tell the truth. She put so much of her time and energy into dating Dylan she didn't realize she lost something along the way, herself.

"So this is it?" she said crossing her arms around herself.

"It's what it looks like." He answered shortly leaning back against the door knob.

Kelly looked up at him through her lashes. He was looking at her with his signature stare. His gaze was so intense yet aloof at the same time, Kelly never really knew what was going on behind those eyes of his.

Kelly let out a breath and started to walk towards her car, letting the few tears fall from her eyes. There was nothing more to be said here. She pulled the keys out of her purse to unlock her car, but stopped when his voice called out to her.

"Kel..." He yelled from his place on the porch. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Me too." She answered softly after a beat, pulling her car door open, "Me too."

 **Meanwhile inside...**

The slamming of a car door caused Brenda's eyes to pop open. She rubbed a hand over her forehead and attempted to sit up, but was forced back down by the pounding coming from her skull.

"Ugh, my head." Brenda groaned aloud. Her head felt like it weighed a ton and her mouth was dry as sand paper. " _What happened last night?"_ Brenda thought to herself trying to fight off the waves of nausea coursing through her.

" _Where am I?"_ she wondered looking around. She noticed her clothes were clothes littered over the floor. A familiar pile of surf boards stacked in the corner caught her eye and she froze. What was she doing in Dylan's room?

Brenda's heart started to race and suddenly the room was spinning. Before she knew it, the bile was rising up her throat and out of her mouth. She looked around desperately trying to find something to vomit in. She grabbed a trash can and started to empty her stomach. She heard the door open and close. Finally, after her stomach settled she meekly lifted her head from inside the can to find a glass of water and a cloth in her line of vision.

She accepted the items without meeting his eyes and tried to wipe the bile off of her face with as much dignity as she could muster. She glanced up at him over the rim of the glass and took a small sip. She could feel the heat rush to her face and quickly looked away.

Brenda made a move to set the glass on Dylan's beside table when she stopped at his voice.

"Drink it all, it will help with the hangover."

Without answering, Brenda tilted the glass back and finished the whole cup. She let out a breath and laid back down. Thankfully, the room had stopped spinning a little after Dylan came in. She finally raised her eyes at Dylan, who was leaning against his desk chair.

"How much of last night do you remember?" he asked softly. His face was blank not giving away any details.

She closed her eyes leaning into the pillows and tried to remember her night. "Um, Donna asked me to go to some K.E.G. party with her and Kelly. Some kid uh, Goose..."

"Moose." Dylan interrupted, correcting her with a laugh and smile.

"Right, so Moose handed us some drinks. Donna and Kelly had to run off to handle some sorority thing so it was just Moose and I for a while and then..." Brenda paused trailing off.

Suddenly, she looked up at him with a horrified expression, "and then… then I don't remember anything at all until I woke up just a little bit ago. What happened to me last night? Did we…"

"God, no." Dylan interrupted quickly.

He winced at the look on her face and tried to take it back, "I mean no as in we didn't sleep together, well we've slept together, but not last night…" Dylan rambled quickly making his way over to the bed. He sat beside her and reached for her hand, "I'm sorry this is coming out all wrong. It's just…I found you last night and you were pretty wrecked. I didn't want to take you home cause of your family, so I brought you here instead."

Brenda could feel the blush bloom from her chest and spread all over her face. " _How humiliating."_ she thought trying to pull her hand from his, but he held on to it tightly. She must have been as red as a tomato.

"There's something else, but I… I just don't know how to say it."

Brenda glanced over at him. He was avoiding eye contact with her and running his finger softly over the back of her hand. Brenda could tell he looked nervous.

"Just tell me. I'm sitting here with what appears to be puke up in my hair," Brenda said weakly, trying to joke, pulling a strand of hair away from her face, "I'm pretty sure it couldn't get worse."

"I uh…I found you passed out in John Sears's room last night." He confessed finally meeting her eyes.

"He uh was on top of you, kissing you. You didn't seem into it or okay to me so I pulled him off of you before anything else happened, but um your shirt was off. I later found out that someone had slipped something in your drink earlier, which is why you were so out of it last night. You only woke up for about five minutes or so when I brought you back here last night."

"Oh." Brenda whispered, stunned into silence.

It felt like her heart had dropped to her stomach and shattered into pieces. The tears were leaking out of her eyes before she could register that she was crying.

John had a reputation around campus and she couldn't believe she got caught up in his game. She was so stupid for not thinking that the drinks would have been spiked. _"Stupid me for putting my trust in the wrong person, again."_

Brenda pulled her hand away from Dylan and curled away from him crying. She hid her face and cried into the pillow. She felt sick to her stomach. She could feel Dylan trying to comfort her, but she scooted further away embarrassed.

Brenda racked her mind over the details, but everything was a blur. She couldn't even remember seeing John that night. Her body felt dirty to the touch. How could this have happened to her? How could she have gotten so out of control that she let someone take advantage of her? Brenda felt like bugs were crawling across her torso, she had to get clean. She had to get out of there.

Brenda stood up quickly and jumped off of the bed. Dylan tried to grab onto her arm, but she brushed him off, running towards the bathroom. She ran, discarding her sleep clothes and turned on the shower, letting the water rush over her.

Brenda reached out and grabbed the bar of soap and started to scrub at her chest and arms roughly. She continued to scrub her body until her skin was a bright shade of red. She knew at this point that her body was clean, but she couldn't help but still feel dirty. She dropped the soap and looked helplessly around the bathroom. The last time she was here, was when the summer she ran away from home after her parents forbid her from seeing Dylan. Brenda sighed placing the soap back on the dish. If only she knew then what she knew now. Everything seemed so simple before, how had everything gotten so out of control.

She didn't call out to him when she heard Dylan enter the bathroom, she just kept starring at the wall. She didn't flinch when heard the curtain open and shut. She could feel him standing behind her and pulled away at first when his arms started to wrap around her.

"It's going to be okay Bren. You're gonna be okay." He tried to re-assure, but she continued to cry.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" She asked suddenly turning around, "Why do I keep trusting the wrong people? What's wrong with me?"

Dylan felt his mouth drop open in surprise. How was he supposed to answer that? How was he supposed to reassure her when he was one of the people who had so casually broken her trust in the past?

"Nothing is wrong with you." He whispered into her ear, "Do you hear me. Nothing is wrong with you."

Dylan's heart broke at her words. He pulled her close, soothingly running his hands up and down her arms and across her back. After a while Dylan noticed Brenda's sniffles start to fade. She turned suddenly in his arms and angled her face towards his, crashing their lips together in a familiar kiss. Dylan allowed himself to kiss her back a few times before he realized what was happening.

"Brenda." he whispered pulling back from her kiss, "I don't think we should…"

'Please Dylan. I feel him all over me. You have to help me."

Brenda started to cry again and he drew her in his arms. "Shussh now." he told her letting the water rush over them, "I've got you. You're safe."

They stood under the shower head a while longer while Dylan continue to whisper sweet words to Brenda. After the water had started to grow cold, Dylan finally decided to end their little shower.

He turned the water off and reached for a towel on the rack beside the toilet. They didn't speak as he dried the both of them off, wrapping the larger fluffy towel around Brenda and keeping the smaller one for himself.

He shot her a looking before leading them out of the bathroom and back to his bedroom.

Dylan walked into the room first, shaking the excess water from his hair trying to get it to dry. He let go of her hand and started to rummage through his drawers, pulling out a set of pajamas. He threw the matching top to her and kept the pants for himself, and slipped them on.

The both got dressed, still leaving the room bathed in silence. After she was finished dressing, Brenda sat back on the bed, running the towel through her hair trying to stop the droplets from soaking the sheets. She stopped her movements when Dylan reached out and closed his bedroom door.

He looked over his shoulder at her as he flicked off the lights, making his way towards her. His feet were silent against the wood as he padded over to the bed. Her heart started to beat faster and faster as he walked closer to her. _'What was he doing?_ ' She thought as he pulled the sheet down on his side of the bed.

He looked up at her expectantly as the sheet caught on her side, "Well are you going to help me or just continue to stare?" he asked tugging on the sheet that was stuck under her butt.

She dropped her hair towel on the floor and pulled back her corner of the covers. Dylan motioned with his head for her to get in and join him after he had sunk into the mattress. Brenda crawled into the bed curling herself into a small ball tight in the upper corner, trying to stay as far away from Dylan as possible.

She felt his side of the bed dip a little as he reached over to turn on the radio. He fiddled between a few stations for a while before deciding on a station. Dylan glanced over and noticed how far away she was.

"Hey." he called over to her, scooting closer to the middle of the bed.

She turned around to look at him, which caused her body to shift towards him. As soon as she bumped his side, he pulled her even closer, throwing one of his large legs over hers, effectively trapping her to his side. Brenda knew after what had happened to her last night she should be freaking out, but oddly enough she felt…safe.

He slid his hands that were resting around her waist upwards. He slowly slid his hands over stomach, grazing her breasts softly for a moment, before wrapping them again around her middle. He pulled her body back so her head rested in the corner of his elbow and his face was slowly nuzzled into her neck.

"Is this too much?" he whispered in her ear, "Should I let go?"

"No." She whimpered, clinging desperately to him, "Don't let me go okay?"

Dylan nodded and rested his head against her shoulder, "I won't. I won't let you go."

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There it is guys and gals and everyone in-between. I wanted to this chapter to feel sort of like an ending, but also still leave the possibility of a next chapter/continuation. I don't know if inspiration will strike again, but I wanted some sort of closure. I kinda lost my passion for Brenda Dylan FF, but if I still see people reading the stories I try to update something. Hope the story brought you some joy.**I want to also throw a note/disclaimer about the story line of sexual assault in my story. I in no way intend to glorify sexual assault in any way. God forbid this something like that would happen in the real world there are people out there to help (local police therapists ect). I just wanted to throw that out there as a little note. Thanks again to anyone who has taken the time to read review and enjoy this story. It means so much. As always drop a review. Let me know where you want the story to go thoughts on the chapter…anything.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for all the lovely reviews! Enjoy

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She and Dylan had been lying tangled together in his bed for what felt like hours. She closed her eyes and drank in the moment. She knew she had to get out of there soon. She was too comfortable in the arms of someone else's boyfriend. The thought of Kelly and Dylan together was like ice water being thrown over her body, she sat up quickly.

"I should go." She blurted out, "I have to go."

"Brenda?" Dylan said sleepily, waking up, "What's wrong?"

"I have to get out of here." she whispered, finding the courage to get up and out of the warm bed.

She looked around for her stuff, but remembered she had gotten sick on herself last night. The only thing she could find were the shoes she was wearing last night. She slid on the flats and looked over at Dylan, who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He groaned, stretching his sore muscles, which crackled loudly in response due to being stuck in the same position for so long.

"Look, I never thanked you for rescuing me last night and for what you did for me this morning." She said leaning against the bedroom door.

He rolled to his side and looked at her, with a confused expression on his face. Even when he wasn't trying, he oozed sex appeal. "Don't worry about it. That's what friends are for right?" He said softly.

She felt her face fall at his words. "Yeah … friends. She echoed.

' _As always_ ", she thought bitterly to herself, _"He's trying to be your friend and you throw yourself at him like some desperate loser."_ She flushed thinking about their kiss earlier in the shower, growing redder at Dylan's rejection.

"Look. I'm gonna go. Thanks again." She darted out of the room for the second time that morning. She rushed as fast as she could do the door. The tears blurred her vision as she fiddled with the lock trying to get it to open.

" _Stupid, stupid stupid."_ She thought wiping away her tears. She was tired of putting herself out there to him and getting rejected in return.

"Bren!" She heard him call, "wait up."

She ignored him, reaching for the door knob trying to pry it open it, but his hand reached out and held it shut. "Just talk to me." He whispered, "Please. Let me be here for you."

"I can't."

"Why not?" he countered. "You're my friend Brenda…my **best** friend." He emphasized, turning her around, putting his finger under her chin so they were making eye contact.

"That's the problem." She exploded, pushing him away. She didn't care that the tears were streaming heavily down her face, "I don't want to be your friend. I love you Dylan! I know you don't feel the same way, but I can't keep standing here pretending everything is fine when my hearts still breaks into tiny pieces every time I'm around you."

"Brenda." He sighed, reaching for her again. "Stop, you know I love -."

"Don't." she cried out, cutting him off crying. She lashed out against his hold, pushing away from him. She was still crying, hysterical at this point, "Don't say that to me when you don't mean it. Who knows if you ever did."

Dylan staggered back, "Of course I loved you." He couldn't believe she doubted that he loved her. He moved towards her again, pushing his body into hers, making her to walk backwards and into the door.

He leaned forward, so that their noses were touching. He didn't look away from her eyes as he reached for his coat hanging on the knob. He fished around the pocket, before pulling out his wallet. Brenda looked at him confused, while he rummaged around.

" _What was he doing?"_ she thought. Finally he looked up from the wallet and reached for hand and placed a worn AA chip in the middle of her palm.

Brenda glanced down expecting to see some writing on the chip, but was stunned to his half of the gold heart glued to it. She let out a surprised gasp and looked into his eyes. She was shocked to see them brimming with unshed tears of his own. "Before you and our relationship, no one had ever told me they loved me before."

She drew in a sharp breath at his admission. "Dylan." She whispered, regretting her earlier words.

"Let me get this out." He said cutting her off and placing his free hand over her mouth, "Please."

She nodded, too stunned to speak. He traced her lips with his finger as he spoke, "I love you Brenda, I think a part of me always will. I wouldn't still carry this around with me if I didn't. It helps me feel connected to you after everything. I mean, you were the reason I got sober in the first place. You looked at me and it felt like you really saw me, the real me, and I fell for you hard. I loved you more than I've ever loved anybody and that's was problem."

He confessed placing a light kiss on her cheek, "I loved you the most and I still hurt you. Something is wrong with me."

"No, I don't believe that." She whispered, still resting against the door. Her tears had stopped and she was standing shocked in front of him.

"It's true. I wind up hurting everyone I love. First it was Iris, then Jack and now you. I mean look at your life." He told her walking away from her and sitting down on his futon, "Look at the path I've lead you down. You were nothing but good to me and I ruined it. I'm not good enough for you Brenda. I've never been good enough for you. Your dad knows it, I know it, and deep down, you know it too."

She opened her mouth to argue, but he kept going. "You love the idea of being with me Bren, but if you really got to know me again, you wouldn't want me. I know you Brenda, better than anyone and you deserve to be with someone who can love you in all the right ways and as much as it hurts me to admit it. I can't be that guy for you, at least not right now. You deserve more than me."

"Dylan." She cried, "Stop it. I know that we've done stupid things and I know we've both hurt each other, but you're making it seem like we'll never get back together."

He stood, walking towards her again, cupping her face softly while wiping away her tears. "I didn't say that Brenda. I don't know what the future holds for us, but what I do know is I don't want to keep being the person who hurts you. If last summer never happened, if I hadn't betrayed you the way I did, you wouldn't be like this and I'm sorry. I don't want to be the reason you're sad. I've watched you become a shell of who you used to be and it breaks my heart because I know I'm the reason why. I'm sorry for ever making you think that I didn't love you or that you weren't enough because that's so far from the truth. You're beautiful, inside and out. You are strong enough get through this, I know you are."

"I don't think I am." She admitted, suddenly the words pouring out of her. "I keep trying to move forward, but it feels like I'm slipping further away. You know, I actually wanted to get drunk last night. I wanted to loose myself and disappear for a while."

"I know how that feels." He said. "I know it sounds cheesy, but have you ever thought about talking to someone."

"Well…I've tried talking to my parents, but that went nowhere. Then there's Brandon, but we haven't been very close lately and we are usually fighting more than talking. I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to Donna about it. Truth be told, I don't have many friends these days."

Dylan smiled sadly, knowing he was the reason why. The minute he had chosen Kelly that night in the pool, was the second he had broken the friendship between the girls for good, there is no way Brenda would reach out to Kelly now.

He chose his next words carefully, not wanting to upset her, "I meant professionally. There are tons of counselors down at The Center you could talk to. It always is nice to hear an outsider's point of view."

Brenda looked up sharply, offended at the suggestion. The Rehabilitation Center for Beverly Hills Youth, commonly referred to as the Center, was located downtown. Dylan visited the Center twice a week for his A.A. meetings, she remembering going with him once or twice.

"I don't have a problem." She said shortly.

"I never said you did." He responded, lifting his hands in a surrender gesture, "I'm not saying you're an addict or that you need help. What I'm saying is that there are people at the Center whose job it is to help. I think we both can admit you're going through a little rough patch right now. Especially after last night, I think it would be good for you to talk to someone. Get your feelings out."

Brenda considered his words for a moment, maybe he was right. Talking to someone who didn't know any of her past would be a refreshing change. Brenda shrugged her shoulders, not answering Dylan, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of his words actually having an impact on her. She turned her head and faced the living room, ready for the conversation to end. "I'd like to leave now."

'I'll let you go." He compromised standing back. He didn't want to force her, "But you have to promise me you'll think about talking to someone. It doesn't matter who, just someone."

"Yeah." She replied softly, "I'll think about it."

Dylan nodded, not wanting to push her further. Silence overtook the room as two stood not moving from the door. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his sleep pants and nervously scratched the back of his neck. He felt like he had just run an emotional marathon, "Can I give you a ride home? I wouldn't feel comfortable letting you walking half-naked around Beverly Hills."

She found herself nodding before her mind convinced her to refuse. She waited patiently by the door as Dylan rushed into his room to grab a shirt and shoes. She let her eyes drift around his house, looking for any changes. It had been months since she last set foot in it.

Her heart skipped a beat when her eyes landed on her framed photo, still standing proudly atop of the dining room cabinet. She smiled softly, touched at the gesture.

"You ready?" he asked, pulling her from her thoughts. She smiled softly as he came out of his bedroom.

The white tee-shirt he was now wearing was tight around his chest, showing off his broad shoulders. He had a flannel tied around his waist and a pair of light wash jeans. He looked perfect. She looked up, meeting his stare and gazed into his eyes.

He held her gaze and extended his hand towards her. She surprised herself when reached out and laced her fingers with his. He pulled their combined hands to his lips and kissed the back of her hand, happy she hadn't refused his touch like before. All she could do was smile in return as he dragged her out of the house and to his car. He spun her around as they walked down the sidewalk and Brenda couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips and the goofy look on his face.

For the first time in a long time, Brenda hadn't felt the heaviness in her bones or the ache in her chest. She looked down at their combined hands and smiled, knowing Dylan familiar touch was the reason why.

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Well there it is. Leave a review lemme know what you think.


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